Damn! I can't believe that you wrote that and you are only 14! Nice job really, I can't even begin to describe how good I thought that story is and can be. I think that there might have been some spelling errors/missuses but other than that good stuff.
I am a little slow at understanding fiction stories so I am going to read it again to get a better understanding. Nice job though and definitely stick with this.
Spartan500
OOO! I'm so scared! n00B attacks!
darkclimax
XD it was supposed to be funny cause noobs suck and on this paticular site iI'm a noob (hates noobs)